How come I still cry?

[xxmjxx]

Im 42,and never in my life have i felt such sadness,other than when my dad died when i was 11,which has affected me ever since,i cant understand why i feel so so sad alot of the time,when i have never met michael,and why i miss him so much,i really really dont understand at all,my heart misses a beat when i hear a song of his on the radio,or watch him on utube,god there is somthing hypnotic about him, his voice,he is so beautiful, in everyway,inside and out,hey, i dont have the awnsers,but my life has never been the same since the 25th of june 09....... :?  :?

[GINAFELICIA]

I don't know.....I guess we still cry because we are so fond of him....

I am sad almost all the time

I can't think of no reason why he shoiuld be punished with an untimely cruel death like this  :cry:

I mean no harm, but you really are Debbie Downer.  Why do you insist on posting that MJ was punished with such cruel death?  Are you saying that God punished MJ because of.......................?  I don't think so.  You must  have him mixed up with someone else.  I thought I was ignoring your posts, and then BAM, there you are.  I will try to be more attentive in the future in order to skip your posts/comments.

I don't know who Debbie Downer is and I think you missunderstood my comment.  I said I can think of no reason why he should be punished......maybe it's more clear now.

[GINAFELICIA]

Im 42,and never in my life have i felt such sadness,other than when my dad died when i was 11,which has affected me ever since,i cant understand why i feel so so sad alot of the time,when i have never met michael,and why i miss him so much,i really really dont understand at all,my heart misses a beat when i hear a song of his on the radio,or watch him on utube,god there is somthing hypnotic about him, his voice,he is so beautiful, in everyway,inside and out,hey, i dont have the awnsers,but my life has never been the same since the 25th of june 09....... :?  :?

That's what bothers me too. I don't understand why this is happening to me, all this sadness. I'm telling the truth, I was almost over Michael Jackson in the last 2 years prior to 2009. When my husband told me that morning in an agitated voice "You know Michael Jackson died!!" I was just like "Well this is it, may his soul rest in peace". But this acceptance lasted only for a day or two, because the moment  I saw his death was questionable -  I really started to be sad and suffer and cry and now that I think of it - maybe it is all because I am the type who needs to know the truth, who needs answers and certainties all the time....

[katy (MJFAN7)]

Im 42,and never in my life have i felt such sadness,other than when my dad died when i was 11,which has affected me ever since,i cant understand why i feel so so sad alot of the time,when i have never met michael,and why i miss him so much,i really really dont understand at all,my heart misses a beat when i hear a song of his on the radio,or watch him on utube,god there is somthing hypnotic about him, his voice,he is so beautiful, in everyway,inside and out,hey, i dont have the awnsers,but my life has never been the same since the 25th of june 09....... :?  :?

Same here... my uncle/godfather died when I was 8, and we were very close, probably closer than my own father was to me. Anyway, that's the only death that ever hit me hard besides Michael, Michael's death hit me so hard, I'm not even sure why. I was always a big fan, but I didn't even know him, maybe I feel like I know him because of all the videos or stories or whatever that I've read on him, but still. I feel terrible saying this, but I think Michael's death hit me harder than my uncle's. When Michael died, I would cry in my room pretty much every day for hours until about September, which was when I was really starting to be convinced that he was alive. So it's just hard sometimes, I just can't wait until he's back though, I hope it's soon. :?

[50th_State_Believer2]

I think when someone represents something that is vital to you in your life/your heart...subconciously you feel as though that positive element in you has been taken away when they are no longer here.  It would be easier I think to many people, if the absolute truth was known, if everyone could actually put to rest, the fact of the missed one, to be deceased. But when you are not 100% sure, it is a very hard place to be at - you want to let go because you need to carry on with your life, to find joy and peace and meaning in things that are missing. But if it can't truly be proven, if there are so many reasons for you to doubt that the missing loved one is dead - then it is that part of you that wants to hang on in hopes of you regaining all the wonderful things inside you that you lost.
Once in a while now - my eyes water a bit, when I'm caught at an odd moment, unexpectedly - like if I'm busy doing a chore in the house, and on the radio, a MJ instrumental version of a song comes on...I suddenlly stop what I'm doing, and almost like in movies - I'll stand there spaced out, just standing and absorbing the thoughts that come with the music in the background...lol kind of funny if you were to see it happening. Like I am frozen in time for a couple minutes. It's like his presence hangs around for awhile...and then when the music fades away - I am back in present time, continuing on with my life...it will be this way for me...probably forever...if what we want to happen does not happen eventually...but I will still not say that it will not happen...and I am still very hesitant and careful not to use the word 'dead' -  to me, he is still just 'missing'...

[MissG]

bearhug to everyone

I can talk for me  
Michael has been a very important part of my childhood. Once him "gone", a little part of me, of my memories went as well and I got trully affected for it.

I am the 1st one being shocked by this fact   and I still am surprised with my behaviour at times, since I get very sentimental watching some of Michael´s performances, mainly from the bad era.

I said it many times; we were not part of his life, he was part of ours.