From deep within my heart

[Suzi~Ses~Its~Right]

I have had the overwhelming need to write this now for a few weeks, but i couldnt decide where, if i wrote it down with pen and paper, would someone find it and ridicule me? if i wrote it down on my blog would i be attacked by the narrow minded who couldnt even begin to comprehend? ... so i decided here was the best place .. among people who know what is in my heart, for 90% of them im sure feel the way i do .. so here goes Michael, im sure once it's written, i will feel at ease again when i think of you .... bet you didnt know, well of course you dont, that when i close my eyes, i know every line of your face, yet my fingers have never touched you, i know every inch of your smile, yet you have never smiled at me, i know the depth of your love, pain, joy, sadness and happiness by looking into your eyes, yet you have never looked into mine, i know every strand of hair on your head, yet my hands have never touched it, I know every emotion you are feeling simply by your body language, yet never been near you, and i feel the tightness of your arms in every hug you give, yet i have never been held by you. Its funny that, the way i know you so well, you dont even know that i am even in this world yet to me you are my world.
Thank you for the butterflys, I know that was you.
You are and always will be forever in my heart,
Suzanne xxxxx

[applehead250609]

I have had the overwhelming need to write this now for a few weeks, but i couldnt decide where, if i wrote it down with pen and paper, would someone find it and ridicule me? if i wrote it down on my blog would i be attacked by the narrow minded who couldnt even begin to comprehend? ... so i decided here was the best place .. among people who know what is in my heart, for 90% of them im sure feel the way i do .. so here goes Michael, im sure once it's written, i will feel at ease again when i think of you .... bet you didnt know, well of course you dont, that when i close my eyes, i know every line of your face, yet my fingers have never touched you, i know every inch of your smile, yet you have never smiled at me, i know the depth of your love, pain, joy, sadness and happiness by looking into your eyes, yet you have never looked into mine, i know every strand of hair on your head, yet my hands have never touched it, I know every emotion you are feeling simply by your body language, yet never been near you, and i feel the tightness of your arms in every hug you give, yet i have never been held by you. Its funny that, the way i know you so well, you dont even know that i am even in this world yet to me you are my world.
Thank you for the butterflys, I know that was you.
You are and always will be forever in my heart,
Suzanne xxxxx

In this right MOMENT I wanted to turn off my computer,because I'm very,very tired  ,you know...so many sleepless nights .But I dont know why I had to read one more,and it was your post.
First of all I'm spechless and the tears don't want to stop to coming down on my face.I feel every single word you just wrote,EVERY SINGLE ONE!!!!!!! You will never believe but some little time ago I was looking at some pictures of Michael.I think are from CANNES.This man is the most beautiful man I have ever saw in my entire life,I swear.




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If I remember correct he spoke in one of his interwievs about his fans and the love they feel for him,even if he doesen't knows them.That's why he always wants to please the fans,because this is what they are expected  him to do.You know like if we think we know him,he wants to respond this feeling back,even if he doesen't knows us.Michael is a beautiful man inside and out,and  so are YOU.I LOVE you and take care  :oops:.Good Night!!

[wishingstar]

Words are only beautiful when they are from the heart.  These are beautiful words from your heart, to our ears...thank you for sharing them. 
It's funny applehead mentioned Michael being beautiful inside and out....very true.  However, the concept is what intrigues me.  Just this afternoon, I had a thought pass by my endless mind. It was along these very lines.  I thought to myself:  Hollywood can make anyone beautiful on the outside.  But it takes a person to nurture their heart and soul with love,  to make them beautiful on the inside.  I believe Michael is among the few in Hollywood that understand this concept fully.  Being beautiful on the outside is nothing compared to the joy of seeing the beauty of one's heart.  You are a beautiful soul Suzi.....thank you for sharing.


Blessings

[angelbabe1]

  Suzi, Thank You for those awesome words of the heart for such an AMAZING man....

[GINAFELICIA]

There are not enough words in the dictionary to tell Michael how loved he is.

MJ just know you're the best:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=6W6x2B0XQII#![/youtube]

[hesouttamylife]

 bearhug beautiful Suzi.

I just finished reading Jermaine Jackson’s book. I’ve been stopping to start for a couple of weeks now.  Because every time I would get to a part that was too painful, I would close it up, put it down and just couldn’t go on.  But today I felt a need to finish this wonderful book about love and triumph, pain and fear, truth and deceit.  Today I decided I woud cry, dry it up and keep on reading.  I did, and all I can say is wow.  How proud I am of the way Jermaine treated his manuscript.  It is like a personal memoir to his little brother, his best friend, his true confidante, his left hand man, that he allowed the world to see.  It was an emotional roller coaster and so obviously written with love.  I feel you Suzi.  When I close my eyes at night, during the day, any time or place, I can see pefectly Michael’s face and it is beautiful.  His eyes are my eyes when mine are closed; and all the things that happened to him over the course of the years seem to play back through my mind like a movie that has no end.  I have to believe that after all he went through, after all he gave to everybody else in the world, after he had sacrificed his own true happiness for us that he is now finally able to give something to himself. Peace. Rest. Normalcy. He deserves that and so very much more.  Surely God saw fit to allow him at least that much. 

Every night before I try to sleep, I say a prayer that includes watching over Michael Jackson.  If I never see or hear from Michael again, or if he comes to us tomorrow, that prayer will forever stand.  Every night for the rest of my life, I will be thanking God for giving Michael to the world and asking that he protect and keep him out of harm’s way.

[PureLove]

Every night before I try to sleep, I say a prayer that includes watching over Michael Jackson.  If I never see or hear from Michael again, or if he comes to us tomorrow, that prayer will forever stand.  Every night for the rest of my life, I will be thanking God for giving Michael to the world and asking that he protect and keep him out of harm’s way.

 

I'm doing exactly the same thing every single night. And I do believe that our prayers for him are also protecting him from evil. I just want to know that he is safe and happy with his kids. I need to know this. I know that he is alive but where is he, is he safe, is he happy, is he healthy? We don't know any of these and it hurts so much after 2,5 years.  :cry: I miss him so badly. I wish I could see his beautiful face and smile and hear his angelic voice once again. This is so hard.

All of the posts I read here are so beautiful. Thank you for writing your true emotions.

Michael, if you are reading these, you have to know that we love you MOST and we miss you so so much. I hope we will be able to see you again. Know that you are blessed, cared and loved so so much.

 bearhug for Michael and for everyone who loves and misses Michael.

[GINAFELICIA]

Yesterday I've heard a little story. A singer born in Russia was telling about her childhood.
She has a brother and they used to drink yogurt with sugar when they were kids and one time by mistake they put a dangerous substance in their yogurt as it looked like sugar but it wasn't (their father was a chemist). They drank of that but it was obviously not good and when their parents realized what they have been drinking - her mom took the rest of that poisoned yogurt in the glass and drank it, saying if their kids will die because of it - she won't let them die alone, she's dieing with them.
Nobody died in the end but the story impressed me a lot. And for whatever the reason - made me think of Michael  It is not so unbelievable to want to die when someone you care for deeply dies.

[marumjj]

Hey guys! I identify each of the feelings they express. The strange thing and I hope every day of my life, but sometimes I think, it is selfish of me to wait for his return? Perhaps this situation of absence is what Michael really deserves to live life in peace, enjoy all you could not before. That really saddens me, my selfishness, my desire to see him again, but I can against this. Millions of people have the heart broken by his absence, some to believe his death, others like us, missing his presence, but with the certainty that he lives.  moonwalk_/

[emulik]

Michael if you are reading this, I would like you to know that you are very special person for billions of people all over the world. It is wonderful to know that more and more people start to realize how precious, caring and loving person you are! Wishing you wonderful time with your children and please be safe. We love you truly and deeply.

[GINAFELICIA]

Oh Michael I MISS you so much :cry: !
Just know that we love you very very much bearhug bearhug bearhug

[MJonmind]

Suzi~Ses~Its~Right, thank you for sharing your heart.  And all the others who felt similarly.
I also feel such a strong love for Michael, that I very often can't help myself, shake my head, and say "#?&$#*, but you are so beautiful!"
In the beginning there were many surprises for me, learning the complexity of the man, but I can honestly say, all those things I've learned about him, have only increased my respect and devotion to him and his dreams.  He has us all under his spell, he knows it, and he loves it, and he keeps sending out those angel sprinkles!
 Ya know those ones you see in Hold My Hand? He's partially doing this hoax for us/his friends/true fans.  I will stay here till the end, with all you lovely people!


Here's the video, a mere sample of the love he sends back at us.   


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[MaryK]

I hope the author of the thread won´t mind that I put my thoughts/message in here. I do so because I just think that the title suits my feeling very well.

So here´s to you Michael...thinking of you tonight on this Christmas Eve:

Continue to be the seeker, but try not to get lost.
Continue to sail the seas of adventure and dreams, but never lose sight of your save harbor´s beacon.
Continue to search the eyes that will mirror your self, but try not to get dazzled.
Try to live with your deamons, but don´t let their chains be yours.
Carry your light within your hands forthrightly, but be anxious to prevent it from being extincted.
Indulge in embracing the darkness at night, listening to the chorus of God´s creation that unfolds at dusk, but try also to embrace the dawn and join each living creature in the dance of the creator.
Be one with the shadows at times, feel the unutterable peace, but also continue to let the light of God shine from within you.

While wandering through the mist of doubt and loneliness that is called life, just reach out your hand and you might find that there is someone walking right beside you. Whatever happens, don´t let go of that hand.

Should you ever feel like living in the dark tower, surrounded by the cliffy rocks of self-protection and  fear, with the waves of the ocean of pain, frustration and loneliness clashing against your foundation walls, just scale the pinnacles, raise your voice and let the melody of your heart be heard.
The winds of hope will carry it across the ocean to those who are listening in anticipation.
Keep a fire burning in the fireplace of your soul´s hall, for you will be found by those who seek warmth, comfort and relief from anguish and reclusiveness.
Those will be the ones that sing the melody of your heart to you if you ever forget.
Whisper to them in the darkness, speak words of hope and ease, share your fears, your pain and  disclose your desires. 
And they will hold and carry you, for they know and share your pain.
Hold out through the night, embrace the dawn and feel that the night is not your enemy and that every dawn is a promise.

Wishing you and your loved ones a merry Christmas. May you find what you are looking for.

[YouRnotAlone7]

I love you, Michael.....Merry Christmas!   

[marumjj]

It is impossible not to get excited about each of your answers, because these are written with the heart, and I am identified.
I have 50 years (oh God that a great number) and I love Michael since he was 20, first love the singer so damn sexy, talented and that smile that grabs you and does not let go ... but now for over two years I have learned from the man, I felt his essence, his ideology, his dreams. That's why it hurts so much his absence, if it had to say it with words could, the tears will not let me make a sound. They who understand what I say, we all share the same feeling here, I want to thank you for receiving me here, and I hope that in 2012 finds us together to continue this "great adventure" that although I do not know face to face, what's in your HEART. I send my love
 bearhug