Thinking i should accept his death before 2010? In pain.

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Offline DancingTheDream

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Recently i have been really down because of all this.

I have been obsessively on these sites, and watching videos and pictures of Michael and falling deeply in love with a man who is supposed to be dead!

I have fantasies that we will meet and he will hug me and be my friend.

Im a single lady and i fear this obsession will lead me to be sad and lonely forever....  pining after a man who is the ultimate in unavailability.  

How can any other man compare to MJ?  

I sometimes think i am locked into the denial stage of grief.  Maybe i need to stop searching for clues he is alive and learn to let go and to grief.. to accept in my heart he has gone and to try and accept that.

I have been thinking lately...  would MJ have it in his heart to put people through all this pain?  Would he really??????  Would he allow me to feel this way?  
Sometimes i feel deep regret that i didnt try harder to reach him when he was alive.... but i never did because in life i always felt he was untouchable.  Why would a man like him want to talk to me?  He would never reply to any of my letters or emails so why bother to send any?  He was in the orbit of celebrity and always seemed beyond reach to me.
Now i have researched so much into the man i wish i had tried as we had so much in common that he may have wanted to talk to me at least once.

Im in pain and im hurting.

I dont want to go back to my job in the new year,  i want to quit and leave.  Pack my bags and leave forever.

I feel i cant do this anymore.

Just my thoughts.

Also.. all these people who are yabbering on in Facebook and twitter like Karen faye and susan etok and jermaine.. and all the people who make false profiles and all the people who lie and say they have information and that they knew the man...  all these people who want to make money off MJ and publicity and attention for themselves.  I hate them all and i cant take it anymore.
All i want is Michael back....  but if he aint coming back then how can i carry on?
« Last Edit: December 28, 2009, 10:26:33 AM by DancingTheDream »

Offline Secret Dove

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Re: Thinking i should accept his death before 2010

  • on: December 28, 2009, 10:26:10 AM
I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. :(  None of us know what michael would do, we're not him, nor can we talk for him. I know it's hard, but please try to keep the faith and hang in there. It might help you to take a break and come back in the new year. You might look at things differently when your rested. ;)

Please remember that we're all here for help each other get through this and support one another. If you need to talk, feel free to PM anytime!! ;)
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »


Keep the faith. The truth will prevail! :)    
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
All he wanted was the mountain high
Beyond these boundaries,he wanted to fly
In nature\'s scheme,never to die
– MJ



www.twitter.com/alem_mj

Offline the_lost_child

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Re: Thinking i should accept his death before 2010

  • on: December 28, 2009, 10:32:58 AM
Hun... I'm totally with you... I cannot handle with this situation, I quited one of my studies (I'd also quit of the second one, but I've got only 1 semester to finish it... I cannot do it to my family...)
Since June 25th I was thinking about suicide, I didn't want to live anymore... But... There are too many odd things, that he could be really dead... I mean, look - all those clues, no clear statements from family - I'm sure they know about our investigations, but they won't cut it once for good. They're giving even more clues...
I know the official version, this cruel one, that he's dead... And just thinking of it makes me wanna shout... and I don't wanna live anymore... But there are so many clues... there is still hope. And we must continue to live in good, to be even better, so once, when he's back, he'll be proud of all his fans, who believed him and heard his message.
And, I'm just thinking myself, I'm sure this whole situation isn't easy for Michael as well. I'm sure he doesn't want to see us crying, he doesn't want to hurt anybody... But in this whole stuff, there must be some deeper meaning, some really important purpose...
It isn't easy, but I believe he's alive... and we've already survived 186 days with tears and doubts... there are 186 days less 'till we see him again.
If you (or someone) need a talk or sth, just catch me on msn.
L.O.V.E.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline doreentbird

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I am actually feeling the same way.  The desperation I am feeling for a man I never met, and never will meet. I feel sadness and despair for all the lost opportunities.  I had come to these sites to search for any morsel of hope. To feel some sense of comraderie and comfort. For awhile I did, but no longer. I feel hopeless and more in pain than I did in June..I feel as though I have lost him all over again.  

These past 3-4 days on this site, the fighting going on, the insults, the mean spiritness has only contributed to my feeling of despair.  I feel the same way as you..leave everything behind and just go.. But I can’t. I have 3 children to look after. I feel trapped in darkness.  I have lost faith and hope..Without hope..there is nothing.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline LLJ

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Hi

My advice will be to keep the faith.  I think it's only human nature to have doubts, but I feel with all the clues we have, we must be strong and keep the faith!  You can PM me anytime if you need some moral support!  I'm not perfect, but I'm willing to listen and chat anytime.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Deal with the faults of others as gently as with your own.
~ Chinese proverb

Offline hesouttamylife

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I hope that none of these sites were set up to make people harbor false hope and in that mindset, allow the killer or killers go free and unpunished.  I wonder sometimes if there aren't some out there with ulterior motives, who are in fact working for the bad side.  It's something to think about.  Being so sure that no one harmed Michael that we forget the real possibility of a crime having been committed on an innocent victim.  I am on the borderline at present, but I am slowly drifting to the other side.  Evil prevails in all situations.  Evil is clever.  Evil ALWAYS wants to win.  The devil is a liar!  I don't intend to let anything slip through the cracks.  I love Michael with every breath that I take, so much that I am able to step back from both options and study them equally.  I don't need anyone to dictate to me which is more relevant.  That's for me to decide.  And at this point, I haven't decided that either is infallibly proven.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"Don't stop this child, He's the father of man
Don't cross his way, He's part of the plan
I am that child, but so are you
You've just forgotten, Just lost the clue.”

MJ "Magical Child"
Still Rocking my World…
   and leaving me Speechless!

“True goodbyes are the ones never said

Offline Harleyblonde

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Quote from: "Alem (Thetruth)"
I understand your concerns and I feel you. Michael isn’t perfect. The image we are seeing is only what it is, an image, we don’t know him.
And this obsessive love some people have for celebrities is normal because they think they are perfect though they are far from.
He did the hoax for a reason which will have its effect later, IMO. I don’t think he ever indented to hurt his family nor his fans but this was something he had to do, for the sake of things we can not fully grasp at this stage.
And if he is dead, it was a wrongful death and IMO far from just an accident and Dr Murray is not the only one to blame. But before we can say that I need to have some of my many questions answered and I have a lot of them.

But I have realized that my own life have to go on, I can’t simple be waiting by the computer for clues and more information about his hoaxed death, what kind of existence is that? Everyone feeling like this please go and have fun with your family, go and have a drink with your girlfriends you need to find something to do other than being Jacksonized. It’s quite dangerous and it will have its consequences. This doesn’t mean that you don’t care about Michael, it simply means that you are also taking care of yourself which is just as important.


Peace out people and take care of yourself!  :)    
I agree with the above post. You say how can anyone compare to MJ but none of us knew him. All we saw is an image, yes we know he was good person, a pacifist, sweet and gentle but so are many other celebrities and in fact so can be ordinary people. There may be other people with a heart as big as Michael but he was in a privileged position that he had a lot to give. He himself said that you only know about him what you read and what he wants you to know. It is really not healthy to let your life be devastated by the death of a celebrity, someone you have never even met. There are many widows with small children who have to carry on and am not being cruel but your loss cannot compare to theirs. I think this suggests that you need to get out and meet people, have some sort of a social life and not let this take over your life. I  really do think that to be feeling like this then there are things lacking in your life-get out with a friend or join a night class and get your mind on other things. Take care.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
Mungu awape imani.
God give you faith.

Offline GirlSaturday

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It saddens me to hear that some fans feel so helpless and possibly suicidal. Suicide is not fun and games. Suicide is real and very serious. Hopefully those who feel suicidal will get the professional help needed to come out of their depression. What saddens me most is that there are people who place a celebrity above themselves and their loved ones. Do those people have parents, siblings, children , friends...REAL people that they care about and who also care for them? If so, please please turn to them NOW and ask for help..a hug and guidance. If not, then that is truly sad.

I like MJ and his music however he does not come before me..Cheryl...or my real family and friends. He is a celebrity who lives in another world outside of my own. He and I will probably never meet. Our paths may never cross, He is one person on the planet and I am another.

Please consider this as you place MJ on a pedestal. He is a human...complete with good and not so good that comes with most other humans. He is not a GOD or superhuman.

Look at your lives and what you have within that life...the real people that you impact and who impact you. Those are the people who matter ...not celebrities.

Peace and L.O.V.E.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline DancingTheDream

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Thankss for all your messages.
This is so hard.
I am not a celebrity worshipper... i have never cared about celebrities before.  This is why this has hit me so hard and i dont understand myself and why i am being like this.

I hope things get better for me in my mind.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline jacilovesmichael

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When I read this I felt like I had wrote it myself. I know how you feel, trust me!

That is what makes Michael so special. He makes us feel like we know him. And not only that, but he makes us feel like he knows us too. Like if we ran into him on the street he would recoginize us too and we could just spend the day together like it was a regular and normal thing.

I,too, love Michael with all my heart. The funny thing is, I'm not even single! I'm in a long-term relationship and I am very happy. But I always think to myself that I wish I could love a man in "real life" the way I love Michael Jackson. I've only talked to a few people about this, mostly just my mom. She understands because I've been obsessed with him since I was in diapers (I'm 23).

She (along with other friends and family) seem to think my obsession is very unhealthy. Of course, it has gotten worse since his "death". I did the whole grieving thing but then started to realize all the weird things surrounding all aspects of his death, and began to research. And, like you, became 100 percent obsessed. It keeps me up at night a lot of times, thinking about all the clues, trying to piece things together. Sometimes I honestly feel like I should just be able to pick up the phone and give Michael a call and be like "okay, I NEED answers NOW!" But I do know one thing. If Michael did do this hoax, it would not be in vain.

Yes, it may have caused us pain. But we must look beyond that. If Michael is alive, I believe he WILL reveal this whole thing. He would not fake his death to escape, at least not forever. There would be no glory in keeping it secret forever. I believe the MAIN reason for all of this is to fool the media, not to fool his fans. He wants to bring a sense of "awareness" and "awakening" and "hope" to people - and those were his own words!

One other thing - I do think that after a certain amount of time, we may need to just "let go". However, don't give up quite yet. I think there is a very good chance that MJ will wait until 2010 to return. For some reason I think Easter is a very good possibility, for a few reasons. First the obvious - it's Easter which means "new life" and "resurrection" (back from the dead). Also, it just so happens to be the date of Martin Luther King's assassination, and Michael loved MLK. Not only did he love him, he referenced him many times. Once in "They Don't Really Care About Us" he says "If Martin Luther was livin', he wouldn't let this be". Also, he includes MLK's "I have a dream" speech in his song "History". He also uses a quote from that in THIS IS IT... and I think the part he used is significant. It says "This will be the greatest demonstration of freedom in the history of our nation". And what would be an awesome demonstration of freedom? FAKING YOUR DEATH! Anyway, Because those 2 things fall on the same day in 2010, I think it's a very good possibility. Also, in the 2003 movie of Peter Pan, one of the characters says to Captain Hook "The ice is melting, the sun is out, the flowers are all in bloom"...and Captain Hook says, "He's Back!". Obviously he's talking about Peter Pan coming back in the Spring. What's significant about this is first the obvious, Michael loved Peter Pan and often compared himself to him. Second, Kenny Ortega had that exact quote on his Twitter page a couple months back. I think it could have been a clue, that Michael plans to return in the Spring. And April 4th (Easter) is right in the middle of Spring!

As you can see, I am also a fanatic. Sometimes I see him in my dreams and feel like he's trying to send me ESP messages - haha! I realize this is crazy but it has gotten to the point where I just don't care! I just want to know the truth and I will not, CAN not, give up until I know one way or the other. And I have faith that THE TRUTH WILL PREVAIL, like he always says, and like God always says.

I hope you find comfort in his music, I'm sure you do, some days it's the only thing that gets me through.

In the meantime, sounds like we have a lot in common. Feel free to message me anytime if you need words of encouragement or just a fellow Michael lover to talk to!

L.O.V.E

JaCi
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
What you have just witnessed could be the end of a particularly terrifying nightmare. It isn’t. It’s the beginning.


Offline neverlandprincess

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Thank you Alem and the other members who supported this poster with wisdom. Dancing it is easy to get very addicted here and become very depressed.The depression is not only because of said love,but also because it is hours in front of a computer which can have a chemical effect as well. It would do good for you to take time off for a good week or two. Some of the best investigators have had to do so. Of course we love him or we wouldnt have questioned things and wound up here,but love can easily turn to unhealthy obsession. As GS said,we dont know MJ on a personal basis,I am sure that he easily lovably,but I am also sure that something would get on my nerves about him :lol: perfectionism being one of them. He is a human in a world of many many people who love him and want to show him that. Maybe take some time off and a while into the new year see how you feel. P.E.A.C.E
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline Alem (Thetruth)

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Quote from: "neverlandprincess"
but I am also sure that something would get on my nerves about him :lol: perfectionism being one of them. He is a human in a world of many many people who love him and want to show him that.

Lol..I think so too

@Dancingthedream
 I’m not stating that you are a celebrity worshipper, you know best who you are. They are not wrong when people say that Michael probably has the most loyal and loving fans, a lot thanks to his devotion and love to the world, though it sometimes comes back as nasty and disloyal to him.
 Take the advice you have been giving from the members and try to take it in, I know it’s difficult especially if you are on the verge of depression. Do you have someone out there for you, family or friends?
This hoax/death have been a rollercoaster for all of us, some more than other unfortunately. It not that people are more fragile than others, it has a lot to do with what is happening in your surroundings and your social life. If you only care is for this site then that is sad, because above all you and your wellbeing are the most important.

Much love
Alem
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
All he wanted was the mountain high
Beyond these boundaries,he wanted to fly
In nature\'s scheme,never to die
– MJ



www.twitter.com/alem_mj

Offline farhatmjj

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i can't believe this... is it possible?? i never thought there would be anyone who EXACTLY feels the same as me! not just what you said in your post, but also the title.. i mean, i have been feeling so depressed and i lose the faith very often, i was also thinking of letting it go and starting to accept his "death" before 2010 or atleast before june 25, 2010. i won't be able to handle the tributes and all at the first anniversary of his death.. i'm hurting so much, that sometimes i feel like i'm going to die cause of excessive mental pain.

i also am single and now i feel like i would never be able to love someone as i love Michael, i have already passed half a year grieving but i still had the hope, but now i'm starting to lose it and even if he's alive, if he doesn't return, i think i will be a loner forever and spend the rest of my life like this. i have totally turned into another person after june 25.

Quote
I have been obsessively on these sites, and watching videos and pictures of Michael and falling deeply in love with a man who is supposed to be dead!

exactly my words dear! i was a fan before june 25, but i got to know about this man so much after that, i have researched about him more than i did ever before! and i got to know how alike we were, how many things we have in common, i also noticed our zodiac signs (capricorn and libra) are the best match for each other... idk i can't really explain... i just think that if we could ever meet i guess we would atleast be good friends or atleast he would know he has a fan who he can trust and who understands him. sometimes i wonder is this the reason why i believe he's alive?? is this like i dojn't want to let him go that is why i'm denying the truth?? i watched THIS IS IT with my brother, cousin and some freinds... no one saw anything fishy then why is it only me who got so many "clues"??

i can not take it anymore, and i can not let it go either. i really don't know if Michael would really let me and you, and others who feel this way, mourn and fall sick like this. i am not doing well for last 6 months, i'm having so many physical and psychological problems... i'm getting more and more obsessed everyday... i haven't feel anything for any other guy whether REAL life guys or any celebrities these 6 months and i don't seem to be feeling it again. i can't study, i'm getting horrible marks on exams, i can't do this to my parents, but again, i am helpless, i can't let Michael go, i just can't.

please please please feel free to PM me, i hope our sorrows will not make us both feel more depressed but make us feel better sharing the pain. sorry for the long post.  :oops:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
[/b]


Offline MJsAngelEyes1987

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Re: Thinking i should accept his death before 2010

  • on: December 29, 2009, 10:05:44 AM
Quote from: "Secret Dove"
I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. :(  None of us know what michael would do, we're not him, nor can we talk for him. I know it's hard, but please try to keep the faith and hang in there. It might help you to take a break and come back in the new year. You might look at things differently when your rested. ;)

Please remember that we're all here for help each other get through this and support one another.

I certainly agree w/ your statement, Secret Dove!!!

Anyways, on to what I'm saying.
Sometimes my faith starts to slip away as well but then, all of a sudden, I start to shoot right back into reality.
I'm trying to Keep the Faith as much as I can too.
For me, I also didn't start becoming a fan of MJ til June 25th & I kinda feel bad about it, b/c I first heard his music when I was in high school back in early 2003 but at the time just wasn't really a fan but now I'm definetly a big fan & always will be.
I love Michael Jackson to death & always will.
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
"You\'ll never make me stay, so take your weight off of me, I know your every move, so won\'t you just let me be, I\'ve been here times before but I was too blind to see, that you seduce every man, this time you won\'t seduce me.."
[size=150]I Love You So Very Much MJ, You Are My Life <3[/size]


Guest

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IAAAHF....  
You may write me down in history with your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt but still, I'll rise. Just like moons and like suns, with the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, still I'll rise. Did you want to see me broken? bowed head and lowered eyes? shoulders falling down like teardrops weakened by my soulful cries. You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes you may kill me with your hatefulness but still, like air, I'll rise. bringing the gifts I am the dream and the hope I'll rise..  ;)   IAA
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

 

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