though we're far apart, you're always in my heart.....

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Offline farhatmjj

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though we're far apart, you're always in my heart.....

  • on: January 01, 2010, 12:40:49 PM
this is a note i wrote about a month ago from now on my facebook, thought i could post it here. :)

It’s been quite a long time I haven’t written anything about you. Spending each second of each minute of each hour of my each day just having you on my mind, it’s quite hard for me to get some time to do something!   :)

It seems like each day goes by, and this feeling gets stronger. Some say I didn’t ever love you like this before. They think I’ve become a fan after the June 25th. Alright, if it’s like that so be it. I know I have always been a fan, an admirer of your music ever since I was born. If the realization of my love has happened after that particular date, I’m not ashamed of that. I can’t hide my love. I admit, I didn’t know the person that much before, there are reasons for that ofcourse but I don’t wanna talk about them now; as it would sound like I’m giving excuses.

Yes I do feel bad for not being in touch with you like THIS, I wish I could have been there to support you, to back you during the trials, I wish I could be there with you in your despairs as a diehard supporter and fan, but what could I do when most of the events were occurred when I wasn’t even born or I was so young to have understood the incidents?

I just want you to know that NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS now, when you come back, if the world goes against you, which I hope they won’t, I will still be there for you my love, supporting and encouraging you in all your steps. I know so many fans will do the same! But IF some of the non-believers of the hoax turn you away, I will fight for you. I will do ANYTHING to save you, to protect you from anything the world would want to do to harm you.

Ok, I’m not being able to write out what I actually wanted to when I started writing this. My mind doesn’t work properly these days, and you know the reason why…

It has been 5 months now, more than 5 months actually. Going to be 6 months very soon. It is tough. Really tough. It’s tough to keep the faith being around a bunch of non believers, being told everyday to move on and stop living in illusions. I KNOW FOR THE FACTS that you’re alive. Though my heart always gives me the feeling for you to be here, this is the proofs, the clear strong proofs that I’m talking about.

These 5 months have been the hardest, the longest and the most frustrating and devastating 5 months in my life. I have simply no support, no appreciation, no backing for believing, not even for being a fan and loving you with all I am. They keep telling me I need help, I’m going insane and that even if you’re alive, you won’t give a shit for what I feel.

They are wrong.

I know that. You know that. WE know that.  :)

May be for your stardom, you won’t ever be able to call me to say hi and ask how I was doing. May be I’ll never get the chance to see you infront of my eyes, to touch you, to hug you. I see the videos your fans go up on the stage and hug you and kiss you, I know you think of all your fans when you hug one of them but I still feel so jealous. Sorry, can’t help with that! lol!  ;)

Being completely in another corner of the world, I know I shouldn’t even dare to dream to meet you, or should I say, I shouldn't have even dared to love you like this living in a country like mine. But this thing that I feel for you, forces me to believe that you will come back! We will be together! Someday! No matter however I’m pressured to give up, I never will.

I fall sick so often, with insomnia, anemia, dehydration and so many other stuff, I have to go through immense despair, frustrations, anxieties and still keep the faith. I spend weeks without sleeping at all just because sometimes I get some negative vibes that you won’t return, or you aren’t okay. I have been doing NOTHING at all but praying for you and trying to find out the truth all these 5 months. I don’t know how long I’ll have to keep on living like this but I will as long as I have to. All I can hope is just you come back soon and I get out of these darkest days of my life. i'm hurting, just so much.

Michael, wherever you are, if you're reading this, please know that I love you! Please try and feel the love I have, please try and listen to my heart. Please take care and be safe. I need you, cause I love you so much!

Yours ever,
And ever,
And ever,
And ever...

Farhat
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »
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Offline DancingTheDream

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You never said goodbye... someone tell me why????   :cry:
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

Offline NEFFERTEAREYA

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hello,michael. i pray that wherever you are God has his loving arms around you protecting you from all harm and danger. i pray that you are healthy and happy,you deserve it. i pray your beautiful children are okay and are protected by God as well.

michael,i don't know if you are reading this message,but if you are i want you to know that every single word i type is true. i have been an admirer of yours for 27 years now,ever since i was 6 years old. i saw you on the cover of the 'thriller' album and i just felt something strange go through me. i can't describe it,i just know that i've loved you ever since.

people think i'm an obsessed nut,but i'm not. there's nothing wrong with me i just really love you for being you. when i look at you i see everything i've ever dreamed of and more. you are so beautiful,michael. your inner beauty has me so in love with the person that you are.

i know that i don't know you,but i can see your spirit and it's so full of love and warmth. you've gone away now,but you are ALWAYS with me. i take you everywhere i go and you're a part of everything i do.

it's you that makes me happy. just brings me indescribable joy!! just the sound of your voice puts a huge smile on my face. people often ask me why am i smiling and i don't even realize that i'm doing it. it's the thought of you that brings out the child in me.

i want you to be happy. i am very proud of you for what you've done and for calling attention to the world. your efforts are not in vain,honey. we are heeding your advice/warnings and telling everyone who will listen about your message.

well honey,i gotta go now. i just had to come and "talk" to you before i go to bed. i pray that this message finds you. sweet dreams.

nefferteareya...i love you most!
« Last Edit: December 31, 1969, 07:00:00 PM by Guest »

 

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