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I had left work early for a doctors appointment. I was in the doctors office when I heard one of the staff members say, "Yeah they are saying Michael Jackson died too." They had been talking about Farrah Facet and then Michael. I got up and went over to the girl at the front (who was laughing) and asked what she has said about Michael. She said, "It's on the internet TMZ that Michael Jackson has died." I asked her what happened and she told me that it may a rumor. I thought back to last December when I had heard that MJ was ill and would be dead in six months. I went back to my seat and continued to fill out forms. Then a gentleman that was also waiting went outside and was talking on his cell. He came back in and asked me if I wanted to know about Michael. I said yes what is going on? He said he had just spoken to his wife and she told him it was all over the news that Michael had indeed died of cardiac arrest. I felt my body in slow motion get up and tell the doctors assistant that I needed to leave, cancel my appointment. She looked at me and asked me why. I said, I have to go, I have to get home to my son NOW!She looked at me as though I were nuts and I said, "Michael Jackson just died!!!!" I have to get home NOW!!! She said, "You have to be kidding me really!" I said, " Do I look like a woman that is F*ing kidding you right now?!!!" I grabbed my medical records and told her I would not be rescheduling because she was cold and laughed about the entire thing.I tried to make my way outside the building and the gentleman that was in the office followed me out. He asked if I needed help. I was crying so hard I couldn't find my keys. He offered to help me down the stairs and to my car and told me I shouldn't drive. I told him I had to get home to my son immediately. He helped me to my vehicle and I thanked him and called my son. He was crying and screaming, "Mom Mom Michael is gone!!!!!! No Mom it can't be this way no not now!" My heart was breaking I could barely see through my tears. I called my work to tell my friend to pray for me because I wasn't sure I'd make it home. She told me everyone in the hospital came looking for me to see if I was alright. They all know how I feel and think about Michael. I drove and beat the steering wheel of my van so hard I bruised my hands. I screamed all the way home. "Why God Why please not Michael!!!" Somehow I made it to my driveway. I walked in to see my son age 24 on the floor in front of the TV in a fetal position crying and moaning. He was saying why him why Michael why why why God Why. I laid on the floor with him and held him. We cried like that for days. My son had actually heard the news from some moron that knows how close his is to MJ and called him and told him the news without even asking if he were alone or come in person to tell him. It's a long story but there is a personal side to all of this. The point is you don't break news about a loved one that way to someone. It was horrible. Absolutely horrific. I will never forget it and I have been alive long enough to remember when Pres John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., Elvis, John Lennon, died. I can tell you where I was when the Space Shuttles blew up and when the Towers fell in New York. Nothing ever felt like this. I have loved and lost many. It was as if someone had knocked the very life and breath out of planet earth. It was my last one good and wonderful hope. I was devastated. My son well I was worried. People can die from a broken heart you know. We are better now because we believe Michael is still here and very much alive.
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