As I am sitting here at my diner table this night, again unable to sleep due to the fever that was caused by this horrible swine flu, I cannot help but wonder about how Michael Jackson would feel like now.
Although I still believe in most of my theories, I have to lay them to rest for a while and think of the comments we got on them. I don’t care if people bash me. They don’t know me, they wouldn’t recognize me in the streets and nobody will ever bother me again if I decide to stop writing now. That will be different for Michael. He cannot walk the streets anonymous like I can. All the hateful things that have been written about him are almost printed on his forehead. People will stop and stare, bash him, call him names, laugh at him, hate him… And for what? The man has never been convicted for any crime. How can you hate someone so much? Hate only comes from love. If you never loved a person, you cannot hate them. Only someone you love very much can hurt you so much your love turns into hate. I am really stunned by some comments I read from ‘the haters’, those people have issues of their own, their comments have nothing to do with Michael in my honest opinion.
Then there are the ‘true fans’ that love him and want everything from him. They scare me sometimes. They pretend like they know him and own him. As much as he might love his fans, they too must be a ballast. To live up to the perfect image they have of him, must be impossible. Statements like: Michael would never do that, Michael is perfect… How would they know that? Please enlighten me for I am not a true fan, maybe I just don’t understand. Maybe I am cold-harted to think he might have his faults and secrets that nobody knows about. Don’t we all have them? Is one of us perfect? I am not, I know that. I have my failures too. A lot of them, but fortunately I don’t have millions that expect perfection from me.
Then there is his family, probably the only people that have the slightest idea of who he really is, what his faults are and they have accepted him dispite them, because they love him. Those people are the ones that are being bashed the most, for whatever reason. Maybe they are weird, but you know what? If I forget about the money, I think my family isn’t much different…
Conclusion before I have to take my next Tamiflu? I don’t envy you Michael Jackson, and there is no way I can get close to feeling what you must be feeling…And I guess I must be a lucky girl for that.